Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor and Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Clinical Trauma Professional Level II, MS, LMFT, CADC, CCTP-II

Kirsten Emery

Virtual Sessions
Therapy for Individuals 18+, Partners & Families
Therapy in Illinois and Wisconsin

Smiling woman with glasses sitting on a black couch in a cozy room.

As a family and systems therapist, I’m passionate about helping people uncover how past experiences may be shaping their present. Together, we’ll connect the dots between where you’ve been and where you want to go, so you can move toward the life you envision for yourself. Watching clients use these insights to create real, positive change is one of the most meaningful parts of my work.

My style is both empathetic and direct. I’ll help you identify patterns that no longer serve you, while also equipping you with practical tools to find relief in the here and now. Every client’s journey is unique, so we’ll create a personalized path to healing — no cookie-cutter treatment plans, just what works best for you.

I specialize in working with people navigating substance use, eating disorders, body image concerns, depression, and anxiety. I also support individuals living with personality disorders, as well as those impacted by loved ones who struggle with them. As a systemic therapist, I have a special interest in supporting clients exploring polyamorous and alternative relationships, BDSM, and kink, with a focus on sex positivity, consent, and healing from attachment trauma.

I see therapy as a combined effort. You are the expert of your life and know what will work best for you. I can provide guidance, other points of view, and skills I’ve learned along the way to support you. But in the end, I see therapy as us walking together along the same path to see where the journey takes us.

Find Me on Psychology Today

  • I am most passionate about working with the ethical/consensual nonmonagamous and BDSM/kink communities. The relationships that are developed within these communities are rich and meaningful, and I love supporting people with developing healthy dynamics to have the most fulfilling romantic and sex lives they can have. In addition to this, I love working with those struggling with substance use concerns and emotional or binge eating behaviors. These are complex symptoms and the change and growth I see in clients as they better understand those symptoms and gain skills to manage them differently is rewarding and inspiring.

  • Sessions are often dependent on what is going on for my clients. They tend to be conversational, exploring the things that have recently happened, and through that process, I connect the discussion to the bigger themes or goals that we’re working on. I don’t typically have structured plans for sessions, unless we’ve discussed it ahead of time.

  • Warm, approachable, and genuine.

  • Going to therapy is a difficult decision to make. The fact that you’re looking at this page means that you’re considering it, and that’s a huge step. I encourage you to reach out even if it’s just to have a consultation to get a sense of whether we might be the right fit. In the end, it’s worth it!

  • I love it when a client starts to explore their relationships, whether that is with friends, romantic connections, or family members. When a client is ready to start understanding how the systems they are part of have impacted them as a child, adolescent, and an adult, I get even more excited about the work we are about to do.

Therapy with Kirsten

I often approach therapy from attachment and Bowen Systems Theory lenses. This means I look at the relationships you have in your life and the systems you come from to get a better understanding of who you are today.

On top of this, I integrate ACT, DBT, mindfulness, and CBT skills in order to give you tools to use in moments when you might need them. Together we develop a tool kit to use when you might be feeling distressed, while exploring deeper complex parts of you and your life.

Certification badge for a clinical trauma professional, level II, with green and silver colors and text indicating certification and professional credentials.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a structured, goal-oriented type of talk therapy that can help manage mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, and emotional concerns, such as coping with grief or stress.

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a type of talk therapy, specially adapted for people who experience emotions very intensely.

  • Used commonly as a treatment for OCD, the exposure component of ERP refers to practicing confronting the thoughts, images, objects, and situations that make you anxious and/or provoke your obsessions.

  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of psychotherapy that helps you move beyond negative thoughts and feelings in a meaningful way by accepting that your thoughts and emotions are an appropriate response to certain situations and committing to making changes in your life that match your values.

  • Narrative therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals understand and change their life stories.

  • MBSR is an evidence-based program designed to reduce stress & enhance wellbeing through mindfulness practices.

  • An attachment-based approach looks at the connection between a person’s early attachment experiences with primary caregivers - and the person’s ability to develop normally and ultimately form healthy emotional and physical relationships as an adult.

  • Motivational interviewing helps people resolve ambivalent feelings and insecurities to find the internal motivation they need to change their behavior.

Areas of Focus

Top Specialties:

  • Addiction

  • Consensual Non-Monogamy

  • Eating Disorders

  • Sex-Positive, Kink Allied, BDSM

Areas of Expertise:

  • Alcohol Use

  • Anger Management

  • Antisocial Personality

  • Behavioral Issues

  • Bipolar Disorder

  • Body Positivity

  • Borderline Personality (BPD)

  • Chronic Relapse

  • Codependency

  • Depression

  • Drug Abuse

  • Dual Diagnosis

  • Eating Disorders & Body Shame

  • Emotional Disturbance

  • Family Conflict

  • Gambling

  • Impulse Control Disorders

  • LGBTQ+ Issues & Identity

  • Life Transitions

  • Men's Issues

  • Mood Disorders

  • Narcissistic Personality (NPD)

  • Obesity

  • Obsessive-Compulsive (OCD)

  • Open Relationships Non-Monogamy

  • Peer Relationships

  • Personality Disorders

  • Relationship Issues

  • Self Esteem

  • Self-Harming

  • Sexual Addiction

  • Stress

  • Substance Use

  • Suicidal Ideation

  • Teen Violence

  • Video Game Addiction

  • Women's Issues

Works With
Individuals 18+, Partners & Families

In Network With
BCBS PPO
Aetna PPO
Anthem Blue Cross PPO
Cigna/Evernorth PPO
United/Optum PPO

Education
Masters of Science in Applied Family and Child Studies with a Specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy, Northern Illinois University, 2016

Personal Interests
You’ll often find me browsing bookstores, diving into fantasy or speculative fiction, writing, watching competitive baking shows, or spending time outdoors. I also love being with my husband and our parrot, Gizmo, who keeps us endlessly entertained with his goofy personality.

Schedule a Session or Consult

Interested in working together? Fill out the form, call (630) 940-6828 or email scheduling@paderatherapy.com. We also offer a 15-minute free phone consultation.

Insurance or Self Pay

Learn more about using your insurance. If we are an out-of-network provider or you do not have insurance, our rate is currently $135 for a 50-53 minute session. However, we also offer reduced rates in special circumstances. Finances should never be a deterrent for seeking help.

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